You finally told someone. Or maybe you just tried to set a boundary. And now the predator is telling everyone who will listen that you are the abuser. That you are unstable. That you are lying. That they are the real victim.
Welcome to the smear campaign. It is one of the most devastating tactics in the narcissist's playbook, and it usually begins the moment they sense they are losing control.
Why They Do It
The smear campaign serves two purposes. First, it isolates you. If everyone in your circle believes the predator's narrative, you have nobody to turn to. Second, it discredits you preemptively. If you try to tell the truth later, people have already been primed to dismiss you.
The predator knows that the first story people hear is the one they believe. They get their version out fast, and they tailor it to each audience. Your family hears one version. Your friends hear another. Your church hears a spiritualized version designed to trigger maximum sympathy for the predator and maximum judgment toward you.
How to Survive It
Do not try to win the narrative war. The predator has been building their case for longer than you realize. Chasing people down to tell your side makes you look exactly the way the predator described you: desperate and unstable.
Let your character speak over time. People who know you will eventually see the inconsistencies in the predator's story. The truth has staying power that lies do not.
Document everything privately. Keep records of the predator's actual behavior. Dates, messages, witnesses. You may not need this evidence today, but you will be grateful for it later.
Focus on the people who matter. You will lose some relationships to the smear campaign. That is painful but inevitable. The people who believe the predator without hearing your side were not safe people to begin with. Focus your energy on the few who stayed.
The complete smear campaign defense strategy is in The Dark Room. Take the assessment to evaluate your full situation.