You finally told someone what was happening. You expected support. Instead, you got a phone call from a mutual friend telling you that you need to "try harder" and "see their side." Your own family member told you that you are being "unfair" and should "forgive and move on."
These people are not acting on their own. They have been recruited. In the narcissistic abuse recovery community, they are called flying monkeys, named after the Wicked Witch's minions in The Wizard of Oz. They do the predator's bidding, often without realizing they are being used.
How the Predator Recruits Them
The predator controls the narrative. Long before you said a word to anyone, they were already planting seeds. They told their version of events first. They positioned themselves as the reasonable, long suffering victim. They described you as unstable, controlling, or abusive. By the time you try to tell your side, the jury has already been seated and the verdict is in.
Flying monkeys come in two types. The first are genuine well meaning people who have been deceived. They believe the predator's narrative because the predator is convincing and they have no reason to doubt them. These people can sometimes be reached with evidence and patience.
The second type are people who benefit from the predator's system. They may be enablers, co-narcissists, or people who fear becoming the predator's next target if they do not comply. These people will not change because the system serves them.
What to Do About Flying Monkeys
Do not argue with them. They are working from a false narrative that the predator constructed. Arguing validates the predator's claim that you are "difficult" or "defensive." Instead, keep your responses brief and factual. "I appreciate your concern. I am handling this privately."
Recognize that the flying monkey's involvement is evidence of the predator's tactics. A healthy person does not recruit other people to fight their battles. If someone is mobilizing allies against you, that is a manipulation campaign, not a relationship conflict.
Protect your information. Do not share your plans, your evidence, or your emotions with anyone who has contact with the predator. Anything you say will be reported back and used against you.
This is Phase 2 and Phase 3 of the Dark Room Escape Protocol. Documentation and Preparation. Move in silence. Build your case. And when you execute your exit, the flying monkeys will not see it coming.
Take the assessment to evaluate the full scope of manipulation in your life, including network manipulation tactics.